8/24/2006

 

Los más cursis

El Zagloso considera a Mecano el grupo más cursi de la historia

Después de años de sesuda meditación y pausada cávila, este monotrema ha llegado a la conclusión de que el grupo musical (o solista) más cursi de la historia es el trío formado por la retaca voz de pito, el melenas tántrico y el intelectual. No ha sido una decisión fácil, pero Mecano ha sido capaz de imponerse a duros competidores como:

- Jesús Vázquez. ¿Alguien recuerda aquel intento de lanzarlo como ídolo heterosexual de quinceañeras? Eran años duros. Y yo te besé todavía me traumatiza.

- E.B.S. (Ella Baila Sola). Marta y Marilia. El Zagloso confiesa que las vio en directo arrastrado por sus amigas quinceañeras, por lo buena que estaba la morena (pibón) y qué cojones, me gustaba Amores de barra. Todos tenemos derecho a un pasado oscuro. Eso sí, Lo echamos a suertes es brutal:

Por qué ya no me baila un gusano en la tripa
cuando suena el teléfono y escucho su voz
Por qué no me arreglé para la última cita
y no usé su perfume ni me puse tacón
Será que la rutina ha sido más, más fuerte
se han ido la ilusión y las ganas de verte
Pero me cuesta tanto decirlo a la cara
aguanto un poco más o lo echamos a suertes
lo echamos a suertes
- Roxette. Esta es una aportación del Anómalo y sin duda es atinada. Se atrevieron a cantar en español esto:

En realidad yo dudo tanto de ti,
por más que intento no me dejo llevar,
veo otro amor y me siento fatal. Pero yo te quiero, más.
Habla el corazon, que no sabe mentir.
Habla el corazon a todas horas de ti.
Oigo cosas bonitas en nuestra cancion,
habla el corazon y yo escucho su voz.
Otros han quedado cerca de los tres finalistas destacados: Bon Jovi, Bed of Roses; Laura Pausini, oh, sí ella; Ismael Serrano; Tenessee; Sergio Dalma; Alejandro Sanz, pisando fuerte, pisando fuerteeeee; Brian Adams, Robin Hood nunca volverá a ser el mismo; Guns ´n Roses, por el increíble el vídeo de November Rain y Don´t Cry versión larga, pero el Apettite for Destructrion y Sweet Child of Mine les salvan y Dire Straits (no me jodas con Romeo y Juliet).

NADIE, nadie se iguala a ellos. Mecano son los campeones.
Sólo con la canción de la perrita Laika superan a todos los anteriores. Recuerden:

Era rusa y se lamaba Laika
ella era una perra muy normal
Todo en ellos es derroche y exceso. Y no eran sólo las letras. Esas torres de teclados del melenudo hindufílico, los modelitos de Torroja, su voz de poquita cosa y sus bailes de "me he tragado toda la videografía de Jane Fonda y Madonna y soy super". Sólo el odio atávico del Zagloso a los cantautores y su temor a que el Dios del Rock & Roll le vuelva a castigar si no cumple su misión anti Ismaelitos impiden que este monotrema dedique su vida al exterminio de Mecano. Eso sí, me parece un pasote que un tipo afirme haber recogido más de 37.800 firmas pidiendo su regreso.


Comments:
Totalmente de acuerdo!! yo también incluiría en esa lista a ese par de...esos astros del panorama musical.. "Los Pecos" !!
Si es que, de niña, me sentía más rara que un zagloso cuando era la única que no llevaba la carpeta empapelada con el trio de la voz-de-pito y los querubines cantantes.
 
"No tengo amigos ni otra cosa que hacer". Si en el fondo era una pobre chica:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwH-9SQi7NA

(¿quién carajo les habrá traducido las letras?)
 
Os habeis olvidado de Presuntos Implicados.
Ismael Serrano me da grima con su voz bajita como si te cantara al oido: "Soy sensible y molo mogollón".
 
B-lectora, bienvenida. Tiene usted razón con los Pecos, pero creo que no llegan al nivel de los finalistas. Eso sí, tendrá que explicar qué quiere decir con más raro que un Zagloso.

Gracias por la aportación, Anómalo.

Perlita,Presuntos (y cómo hemos cambiadooooo) son melifluos sí, pero tanto como cursis... no se por qué, pero de Presuntos he llegado a acordarme de La Unión, dios qué castaña de grupo cursi.
 
Señor Zagloso, gracias por la bienvenida. Aclararle que, como raro, me refería a fuera de lo común : no era nada peyorativo.
De momento en las pet-shops (horror... otro cursi-grupo con esa voz nasal metálica y tan brits ellos) no venden zaglosos.

Y en general,opino que muchos grupos de los primeros 80 eran cursis,y en gran parte la culpa fue de la moda de las hombreras y los cuellos de encaje.
 
Mis nominados son: "la oreja de Van Gogh" en categoría grupo cursi en general; Álex Lumbago como solista cursi (übercursi, diría yo) y Marta Sánchez con la frase más cursi del pop español en "Deseseperada" (desesperadaaa, porque nuestro amor es una esmeralda que un ladrón robó).

Muerte y destrucción para el fan adolescente hipersensibilizado y abominable que tradujo las letras de Roxette.
 
Pues a mí me gusta Ismael Serrano, me trae muy buenos recuerdo(aunque es bastante cargante). Confieso que en mi más tierna infancia era megafan de Tenessee (y volaaar contigo hasta Plutón, conseguir las llaves del amoorrr y besaaarteeee, y besarte mi amooorrr uoohhhhh), las letras de sus canciones siguen incrustadas en mi memoria, hasta los ´ví en directo con mi Chirla-tita en las fiestas de Armilla. El peor, el más cursi de todos es LUIS MIGUEL. Mi madre y yo, lo odiamos a muerte
 
De Luis Miguel no soporto esa manía de alargar las vocales ein ventarse nuevas sílabas: Eress Pe-re-ci-osaaaaa. Manía heredada por el soplagaitas de Bisbal, por cierto.

Os habeis olvidado de un GRAN CURSI: Glen Medeiros!!!!!! Nada cambiará mi amor por ti....
Ay, que recuerdos, con esos videos correteando en la playa vestidito de blanco.
 
Luis Miguel es almíbar con merengue, crema pastelera y nata montada por encima. Gran aportación, Chirla, te salva de la maldición contra los fans de Ismael Serrano. Ah, mi hermano era también fan de Tenessee, creo que todavía posee todos sus discos en cinta de casette.

Misia, de Marta Sánchez casi es peor lo de "tú y yo, soldados del amor...". Perli, anda que no hay que tener memoria histórica para acordarse de Glen Medeiros... Rick Asley entra en la misma categoría gracias a su cardado capilar y el traje verde que llevaba.
 
Ay, pero a mí Rick Astley me parecía la mar de mono!!!
Mi vecina del primero es una madre guatemalteca megafan de Bryan Adams. Todos los sábados y domingos a las 9 se me canta la canción de Robin Hood con un inglés lamentable y una entonación atroz (es como un gato pisoteado!!!! ebrizing ai duuuuu!!!!).
Tengo un nuevo robot de cocina que pica y licúa y estoy por probarlo con ella.
 
Perlita, mi vecina de abajo es mucho peor, pone música de coros de iglesia pos conciliar, Viva la Gente y esas historias de dios te ama. Todos los días. Es una freak del copón, lleva camisetas con la imagen de Jesucristo y mira desde la terraza con unos prismáticos a altas horas de la noche.
 
Los arriba mencionados son cursis a los que se ve venir... ¿Qué ocurre cuando un cursi no va de cursi? "Bed of Roses", de Bon Jovi:

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses / For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails / I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is / And lay you down on bed of roses.

En los 40 hicieron un concurso para traducir la canción y que la banda hiciera una versión en castellano. Las fan-translations debieron de ser terroríficas porque al final no se hizo tal versión que yo sepa.

En el plano de los cursis que van de frente, un nombre con dos cabezas: PLATÓN. "Persiguiendo el mismo sueño te encontré / cuando aún creías en lunas de miel. / Mi primera noche, tú / tu primer instinto, yo / de piel a piel." En primero de BUP su disco "Perdiendo la Inocencia" era lo más entre las niñas de mi clase.
 
Hoy justamente estaba en la panadería e iba delante mio una tia con una camiseta que decía en la parte posterior: Dios es palabra y amor.
Se ha girado y tenía plantado un gran pez en la parte delantera.

Creo que voy a montar una web como la de tus amigos de Mecano para que vuelva Glenn Medeiros.
 
Perlita : parece que Medeiros sigue editando discos pero solamente en Hawaii, y también hizo alguna canción para la NASA ¡¡¿¿??!! (no me he atrevido a escucharla): Desde entonces el retroceso en la carrera espacial.
La portada de su página "oficial", aparte de cutrilla, también es el colmo del azucaramiento:

http://www.glennmedeiros.com/
 
Este comentario ha sido eliminado por un administrador del blog.
 
Be, Bed of Roses está repe. En los duros cursis hay que meter también a Deff Leppard y las camisetas de leopardo que llevaban.

He de reconocer una grave omisión: Abba, capaces de competir con Mecano.

Advierto: si alguien pide el retorno de Glen Medeiros yo lo haré con Los Centelas. Ese toro enamoradooo de la lunaaaa
 
Gracias, b-lectora. La voy a convertir en mi página de inicio!
Para supermegañoña, la canción de travolta enn Grease: Sandyyy, sandyyyyyy...
 
¿Recordáis la telenovela "Cristal"?
¿Recordáis al protagonista masculino? ¿Recordáis que sacó dos discos?

Efectivamente, Carlos Mata. Triunfó mogollón, y era tocino de cielo rebozado de nata y caramelo con miel y azúcar glass. ¿A que os entra sed?
Pues, atención: la ex de Jota lo arrastró al concierto,lleno de marujas salidas como en una despedida de soltera. Eso, Zagloso, es mucho más jodido que ver a EBS. Aún se le saltan las lágrimas al recordar el mal trago, y no puede contarlo sin que la voz se le entrecorte.
 
Gato, ese tocino dde cielo envuelto en miel, nata y azucar glass se lo merienda mi padre cada día. Bueno, sin olvidar la leche condensada.

Para chungo, el disco de Jesullín y su personal versión de 'marinero de luces'. Ofú, lo que hace tener dinero...
 
Gato, cualquiera capaz de aguantar un concierto de ese tipo sin suicidarse merece mi admiración. Volver a la vida real tiene que ser más duro que el regreso de Vietnam.

Perli, haber escuchado una canción de Jesulín (al margen del Toa, toa, toa) seguro que produce los mismos efectos que Carlos Mata.

Para la lista se me habían olvidado también los Eagles, Is such a lonely place...
 
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